A slightly different form of the following was previously published in Prysm, a
now defunct weekly magazine in Columbia, Missouri.
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the lord has
intended a more divine form of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and
glory to His bounty by learning about beer.
- Friar Tuck, Robin Hood (1991)
Beer must be the greatest but most maligned beverage in the
world. In the public’s mind, wine is the
beverage of choice in fine restaurants and for special occasions. Beer is the
cheap, commoner drink. Wine is the
subject of regular newspaper columns, magazine articles and numerous
magazines. Beer gets a special
occasionally – normally having to do with green food coloring or “new” craft
brewers battling in the face of the big three.
Mixed drinks garner outrageous prices. Beer gets ridiculous specials
that merely require the change on the floor of your car. Nice restaurants have their own wine menus and
sommeliers, while servers, when asked what beers are available, tell you they
have everything – Bud, Bud Light, Michelob, Mich Ultra, Miller Lite, Coors,
Corona, Stella and Heineken…wow! Wine
gets special glasses depending upon whether you’re drinking various reds or
whites or bubblies. Beer gets a frosted
mug to cover up the taste or the same kind of glass the water is served
in. Wine has even become the subject of
tourism and Hollywood movies. Books
about wine and spirits take up numerous shelves at the local book store. Books about beer don’t fill a shelf.
Granted, there are nicer restaurants that boast beer lists
that can match their wine lists, but these require some hunting. And many places throw in a quality pale ale
or IPA to go along with their megamarket fizzy water, but one or two choices to
go beyond the equivalent of Strawberry Hill does not true choice make.
This is really a shame because beer is amazing. It is arguably humanity’s first manufactured
food. Archeologists can show pretty
convincingly that it was either bread or beer.
And those two are essentially the same thing with different quantities
of water. So beer has been nourishing
people since the dawn of civilization.
You could even argue that, through the farming of the necessary grains,
beer is the foundation of human civilization.
The ancient Sumerians and Egyptians each made it, reserving vast
quantities for the royal families who used golden straws to drink it.
Beer has also been humanity’s safe water source through the
hardest times. Throughout the last
millennium in much of Western Europe, and eventually in the British colonies of
North America, beer provided all the necessary nutrients and none of the
dangers of the local water. Beer of low
alcohol content was consumed by both genders and people of all ages, classes
and at all meals. It was the depletion
of the beer supply that caused the crew of the Mayflower to call it a day and drop the Pilgrims in Massachusetts.
Beer can also be made from almost anything. While all beer has water and yeast in it,
most today have hops and malted barley and frequently wheat. But throughout the world and throughout time
lots of other ingredients have been used including heather, kelp, rice, hemp,
roots, fruits and vegetables – even garlic.
People made beer from whatever ingredients were available. It is
phenomenally versatile.
You’ll be hard-pressed to find a beverage that goes with
more meals. Sure, it’s become cute and
clever to pair a burger with wine in some restaurants in places like Las Vegas,
but get real. Nothing can go with fried
food, burgers and brats, or barbecue like a beer. And much of what is traditionally served with
wine actually goes better with beer.
Seriously, go buy a variety of beers and a variety of cheeses – or crunchy
bread, or some nice fish – and start experimenting. Pick up some ice cream and a Belgian fruit
lambic. Or flourless chocolate cake with
a barleywine, strong ale or doppelbock.
Make a weekend of it, and I’ll bet you’ll be surprised how amazing the beer
is – and how much more it can accompany than wine.
More and more, people are interested in the sources of their
food. People are buying organic and from
local farmers’ markets and finally putting some real thought about what they
put in their mouth. Check out the
ingredients of your average micro or craft beer. You’ll see few ingredients, all of them easy
to pronounce and healthy. Compare the
nutritional value of one of these beers to the sodas people gulp by the
gallon. Obviously, no one should be
drinking beer by the gallon, but you see the point. Beer is good for you – in moderation of
course.
Beer is also wonderful because no other industry has so much
fun.
Consider the names…Doggy Style,
Arrogant Bastard, Big Butt Bock, He’Brew Jewbilation (it’s kosher), Polygamy
Porter (you can’t have just one), Delirium Tremens, Coal Porter, Moose Drool,
Skullsplitter, Immort Ale, Erin Go Braless, Yellow Snow, Kilt Lifter or Wailing
Wench.
Their festivals have concerts,
brewery tours, dancing, and camping.
They’ve even begun bands like the
Pain
Relievaz.
And some brewers even have
their own
B&B
connections just like the vineyards.
I
know a small brewpub that makes a big annual celebration out of
Talk Like a Pirate Day! Beer people are fun people!
What I find most fascinating about beer is its variety. With a few changes in preparation of the
malted barley and choosing different varieties of hops brewers dramatically
alter the taste, smell, and texture of beer.
Throw into the mix the varieties of water and yeast from one brewery to
another and with only four main ingredients we get an endless array of
flavor.
Find an excuse this winter to celebrate with the most
plebeian of drinks. If you’re drinking
the same thing you have for years at bargain prices, branch out a little and
experience the variety of styles and tastes.
Find out why many now say that this country has the greatest beer
culture any nation has ever seen. Demand
that your favorite restaurants and stores respect your beer taste and carry beers (and appropriate glassware) to match their
food and wine selection. A toast to hops
and barley!
Why we are here:
To tremble at the terrible beauty of the
stars,
to shed a tear at the perfection of
Beethoven's symphonies,
and to crack a cold one now and then.
--David Letterman
