This blog is an exploration of how we form intimate
connections with people through food. I
am amazed and fascinated by the power of a meal to create bonds between
strangers, strengthen bonds between family members, and deepen bonds between
lovers. In my life, I am particularly
interested in how food and cooking is forming bonds between me and my
stepchildren. But food is such a central
part of my family that sometimes cooking functions to provide the unexpected.
I took some advice, tried again and again and
kept getting something closer to a football shape than a circle. My wife and brother-in-law took turns and did
better, getting near-circles and then Grandma jumped in again. And again, perfect circles. As we each took turns Grandma started giving
directions for my wife to make a salsa verde.
Into the blender went herbs (from her garden) and spices, some tomatillos,
tomatoes and before you knew it a gorgeous smell overtook the kitchen. Meanwhile, Grandma got to work on some refried
beans, eggs and arroz rojo. I watched
amazed as a feast was brought together in short order with a grace and skill I
can only aspire to. Grandma did this
like a woman a third her age.
When we finally sat at the small table a colorful,
love-filled Mexican feast welcomed us, all assembled by this vibrant,
incredible petite woman. This was a true
Thanksgiving meal linked to our family’s past, present and future.
Today we honor my wife’s grandmother on her 92nd
birthday. She’s lived in the same house
in Los Angeles for over 60 years with a small, simple kitchen... a kitchen that is a second home to my wife
and her siblings. My wife and I with her
brother visited with Grandma over Thanksgiving.
Of course that’s a holiday loaded with tradition and very specific
foods. However, this past year that was
to be turned on its head for me. The
three of us had hoped to cook in her kitchen and share that experience with
her. It is what we created that
surprised me.
On the Friday after Thanksgiving we asked her to show me (my
wife and her brother have been cooking with her since they were little) how to
make tortillas. I had envisioned a
simple snack. We ended up with a feast
filled with family history and tradition.
First she showed us how to make the dough. Of course the recipe was in her head and
intuition seemed to be the most important ingredient. Once the feel was right we let the dough sit
for a bit before we formed it into small balls for rolling out. From an overstuffed drawer she pulled a
rolling pin that most resembled a sawed-off broom handle that had seen a lot of
love. Apparently that rolling pin
belonged to her mother! She proceeded to
roll out a perfect circle of flattened dough about eight inches across. She made it look so easy and chatted through
the entire process. After making a few
and throwing them on a griddle she looked at me and said, “your turn.” I was intimidated…simple as that. I took that historic rolling pin and started
to roll out…a rectangle, then an oval, then a blob.
Happy 92nd Birthday, Grandma. May we all have many more together.
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